Deconstructing US Empire Is Fun
The Foundations Are Rotting And The Entire Edifice Is Collapsing
(Caption: Thomas Cole, The Course of Empire - Destruction (1836))
I don’t think I’ve ever done this, but I just had so much fun with it that I’ll post my comments on Caitlin Johnstone’s excellent satire today: (read Caitlin first)
I added the following “21 Theses” to Caitlin’s list:
31. You think Caitlin is a Kremlin message multiplier who is funded by Chinese oligarchs.
32. You think "BRICS" is an album by that anti-Semitic Nazi sympathizer Roger "Red Floyd" Waters.
33. You think Julian Assange stole secret documents and endangered US national security and should be shot as a Traitor after conviction by a military tribunal at Gitmo.
34. You think that China is a Godless Communist totalitarian slave society with a far larger military than the US and is using that military power to threaten and control the entire eastern Pacific and Indo-China region.
35. You think that Russians eat cabbage and still use dial telephones and ox carts.
[Editorial Note: About that Trump mug shot:
I tweeted mug shots of Dr. King and Eugene V. Debs to compare theirs with Trump's, which looked like some kind of official staged pro-cop copaganda.]
36. You think that Godless Communism and the dark and yellow Communist hordes are the greatest threat to the foundation of western civilization: the white Christian nuclear family led by a God fearing strong father
37. You think that the Pilgrims taught the Indians and the slaves how to farm, hunt, fish, govern themselves, and thereby survive and flourish.
38. You think that Africa, Asia, and North and South Americas were populated by backward hunter-gatherer tribal "civilizations" that the Europeans and the Greeks brought reading, writing, art, poetry, agriculture, math, science, medicine, and government to them because they are generous and enlightened.
39. You think that Christian colonizers discovered America, established dominion over land, created and improved private property - which is a pre-requisite of freedom - and legitimately own the American continents.
40. You think the United States won World War One to make the world safe for democracy and won World War Two to end fascism and Nazi-ism and therefore deserves to rule the world.
41. You think that the US is the world's most generous country and provides hundreds of billions of dollars in humanitarian aid to feed the world and promote freedom, democracy, and public health.
42. You think that the US and western Europe are "gardens" that are threatened by the over-breeding inhabitants of "third world jungles" and therefore governments must establish militarized borders to stop the invasion of "jungle-dwellers".
43. You think that "western technology" and capitalism are the sources of all human progress and that they will continue to drive progress and unlimited economic growth.
44. You think that there are no natural, ecological, or resource limits of any kind to unlimited economic growth in perpetuity and that science and technology will solve any and all problems that emerge.
45. You think that capitalism is the most efficient and effective form of economic organization that maximizes human welfare and guarantees human freedom and therefore should be expanded to the entire world as fast as possible via all means necessary (including military invasion and conquest).
46. You think that women - going back to the "Garden" and Eve and the Apple - are evil temptresses and servants of the devil who must be owned by, controlled by, and subordinated to men and relegated to the domesticated home to produce and raise children.
47. You believe that Hitler was correct about eugenics and the existence of a "Master Race", but he just picked the wrong one.
48. You think that human beings have a "soul" - located somewhere between the liver and kidneys - and that if you don't fear and pray to the white Christian male god in heaven on a daily basis and follow his biblical teachings (which are the literal Truth) that the Devil will steal your soul when you die and you will burn in hell forever.
49. You really believe that Copernicus and Darwin ruined everything - because the Earth really is the center of the Universe and God created the Earth and Man (in about 7 days)
50. You think that the woods (forests) and oceans are inhabited and ruled by evil spirits and that nature is man's enemy and must be tamed and controlled by man.
51. You really believe that the US is a shining city on a hill that is a beacon to civilization, morality, and freedom throughout the world - and that this is exceptional in human history - and therefore the US is destined to rule the world in the image of God the creator.
So now I rest, after nailing my 21 Theses On The Foundations Of US Empire as appendages to Caitlin's Treatise.
Genius. <3